Autobahn Cafe

This is adult pleasure, courtesy of Autobahn Cafe.

A rock and a hard place exists all over every city U.S.A. and Oakland is no exception. No stranger to the hardest knocks, Oakland’s rocks and places can go head to head with the toughest from coast to coast and that is no idle boast, and sorry for rhyming right out of the gate….must be the goat cheese. Seriously. Let’s go to make-believe land together for a second, and leave King Friday and Lady Elaine behind. We’ll take a walk down under a majestic freeway that soars above the street with all the grace concrete and darkness can muster. Behold the incredible northbound curve onto 980 from 880 where every hoopdi and donk can see how capable the combination of tall wheels, worn out shocks, and killer green can be at 80mph. This is the very same spot that so-called anarchists decided to shut down an afternoon commute in the name of teacher pay and better schools. Wha-what?

Them's anarchists, the ones sitting that is.

What the “F” am I talking about? I’m talking about 571 Fifth street, the freakin’ BRET HARTE BOARDWALK. Damn, talk about being kicked to the curb; poor Bret…pretty much on lockdown between the jail and the BART tracks while Jack London gets the whole waterfront. Hold the quill!––that’s a subject for another post. Right now, on the olde BHB is a lone wolf of the best sort, that both Bret and Jack would fully appreciate. Wally Charles is a lady on a mission to bring you lunch for under 10 bucks and her place is called  Autobahn Café––aptly named, even if the speed limit is a lame 55mph.

Autobahn Café is situated in one of the three, ostensibly empty, Victorians on the fabled boardwalk. Clamber up on the old planks, walk through the door, order up, and then take a seat out back in the sun. Yes! A totally meditative deck awaits you on the backside. Under a beautifully split trunk old tree, perfect for sitting and shading, is a spot you can have virtually to yourself. Sure, there is no Golden Gate view through the bamboo curtain and that is somehow the point. I like the sound of knives being sharpened that the BART train makes as it descends to its subterranean tunnel curves. I even like the sound of traffic and the occasional wide-open Harley on the 880. If I wanted Tiburon, I would have gotten my MD and become a plastic surgeon. Autobahn Café speaks to me, and its location makes me feel lucky to live where I do.

Looking up.

You can have a delicious cappuccino made from locally roasted beans with a lively and well-made froth on top that is neither wimpy nor dominating. The beans come from Mr. Espresso on Third Street, right here in Oakland, and the flavor is bold. Oak wood roasting is their specialty and before I even read the sign, I could taste the embers. No light in the ass, barely roasted espresso––so in fashion at SF style coffemahals––that can take 20 minutes to receive at this place. This is real and pretension free.

The menu is basic, and everything is good. Some is organic, some is local, and everything is purchased nearby. The lady cares. Snacks Daily and Feasts Nightly ordered up some lunch and proceeded to love. Snacks got an awesome salad with shaved Parmesan over greens, with a boiled egg for FIVE BUCKS! She also went out on a limb and bought a Molinari (local!) pepperoni to spice it up with. Feasts Nightly went with a small Portobello sandy and salad for seven bucks. Super satisfaction.

A slice of heaven and solitude in a very unlikely place… and isn’t that what makes this city great? Oakland has opportunities for people with good ideas and wallets that can’t handle SF with its Monte Carlo sailboat dreams and rents. Wally ran a café for five years in San Francisco’s financial district, got run out by a condo conversion, went real estate for a bit and then followed her heart. Thank her for doing so by visiting Autobahn Café. Easy to miss and great to find, Autobahn Café serves up an under ten buck lunch and breakfast from 6:30am to 3:00pm every weekday. Keep a sharp eye; Bret Harte just might wave to you from an inbound BART train.

Truly.

wtfdto is a persistent production, a division of the toodleton enterprise network

all photos, k. thomson 


In light of the currently passed federal budget, I ask everyone to join the 30,000+ Americans fasting as a protest. I will do my day on Friday. Care to join me?